Jonah the False Prophet

Things that have already happened

Jonah was a Prophet of the God of Knowledge, Micheal Wilson, during the reign of the 55th False God. He spread the teachings of Micheal all across the land. Jonah wished and prayed to be able to meet his lord and savior, Micheal. He finally did. During the reign of the 57th False God, Jonah finally met Micheal Wilson. Jonah met the God of Knowledge in a little pond in the middle of the Waubonsie Woods. Jonah was grateful for being able to see Micheal, Micheal began hitting on Jonah and eventually Jonah fell to the God's seduction. Jonah awoke the next morning to see that the God had left and did not even leave a note. Jonah was angered, he began burning all of his books and objects relating to the God of Knowledge and swore that he would become a False God and show Micheal he was fine without him. Jonah trained his Jutsu and was allowed to live with Nick-Kun's mirror self and lover, Kcin-San (and Nick-Kun). One day Jonah decided it was time. Jonah left to the Capital of Waaelfarted, FrickButt. There Jonah snuck into the kingdom, when in the 81st False God's quarters, the 81st False God awoke and attacked Jonah, but fortunately Jonah emerged victorious with his superior jutsu. After seeing Jonah had killed the False God, He was named the 82nd False God. He began his reign by burning any evidence of any false god before him and began raping everything in sight in the Capital. Dogs, Women, Men, Etc. Jonah was False God longer then anyone had been before, he had just never resigned or passed his reign to an heir like the false gods had done before. It is said that in the middle of the night when Jonah was returning to his quarters from the restroom, he met Michael and Nick-Kun ready to put him down. Jonah did not go down without a fight though, he approached the two and told Nick-Kun "Michael won't pull shit on me, I got staccs fam, and WILL pop the glock" and then pulled his glock and fired, a huge anime battle proceeded to occur resulting in the death of Jonah the False Prophet and leaving him on the ground saying his final words, "Micheal, yo dik was small btw."

Things that happened after death

Jonah was later resurrected by the God of knowledge in the year 1995 A.D, under one condition however, he was not to "Pull that dumbass shit eva again blud." Jonah is said to be found in his hometown of RingTangBingBang located 14 miles out of FrickButt, where he is said to run his own Boi Jutsu dojo. In this dojo he is rumored to have trained legendary warriors such as Gabe the Brazilian Spiceman, and Ian the Illusive. He lives with his roommate GespachoMcMacho the legendary Luchador wrestler, and is commonly seen at the McDonalds handing out pamphlets to his dojo.